My husband Ben and I recently enrolled in Tung Ling Bible College’s (TLBC) 2008 three-month School of Ministry (SOM) programme (Term two). Ben had felt a desire to take time out from work to refresh himself in God’s Word and had spent weeks checking up on various Bible school programmes before deciding on TLBC. As for me, this was an unplanned but providential step in my faith journey. I had no plans to sign up for Bible school, but that changed after I read the testimonies of TLBC’s past graduates.

I also realised then that perhaps Ben and I were meant to consecrate these three months to God as a couple in TLBC; given that he was in between jobs and I was on a sabbatical. On reflection, I believe it was not by chance that we came to "Tung Ling", which means "Eastern Mountain" in Mandarin, in reference to the Mount of Transfiguration.

Eight years ago, Ben and I had stood on a very different mountain. Ben had just left a well-paid but unfulfilling job in Hong Kong. I was taking time out from work to grapple with a rare voice disorder (Spasmodic Dysphonia), which had robbed me of normal speech. We were tired, broken and facing a mountain of uncertainty, fear and confusion in our lives.

I had woken up one day, shortly after we were married, and discovered that I had trouble speaking. Over the next six months, my voice quality deteriorated to a level of a breathless whisper. It was especially difficult at work as I had to keep repeating myself to business associates who could not hear what I was saying. Overseas associates would also hang up the phone and call back, only to discover that the "bad overseas phone connection" was still bad. Shop assistants and telephone operators asked if I spoke English and I was screamed at on a few occasions by strangers who could not understand me. After a while, the fear of speaking crippled me more than the broken voice itself.

As my self-esteem declined, I sank into depression for a few years and stopped socialising. I tried all sorts of treatments, from acupuncture to speech therapy; all to no avail. Doctors also told me that there was no definitive cure for this strange condition beyond regular Botox injections to my throat, which temporarily improved my voice quality. Unfortunately, the results of the injections were equally elusive and the outcomes varied vastly, from an improved voice on some occasions to no improvement at other times. A good voice post-injection could also turn bad one week later and it seemed that I had to get top-up injections every three months for life.

During this dark period in my life, I cried out to God, initially in bitterness and anguish. Gradually, with the encouragement of friends, I started to seek God beyond prayers and tears. As I opened my mind to God’s Word, I began to see His presence in my life. There were no great miracles to speak of but I became thankful for the small mercies in my life – the love of family and friends, the support and great favour of superiors and colleagues when I returned to work; and many times, just to have a "good voice day". Losing control of something as basic as speaking was a humbling experience and I had to lean on God for His strength daily.

My parents similarly struggled for years with my condition, trying to understand what Ben and I were going through. Then, they saw our lives take a joyful turn as we drew strength from God and they became interested in finding out more about the Christian faith. My sister-in-law, who was also seeking at that time, decided to follow us to church with my two little nieces in tow. Through all this, the eight of us, including Ben’s mother, came to be baptised over the past three years. Prior to this, Ben and I were "Sunday Christians" who did not know God’s Word and the rest of my family were pre-believers.

I have been blessed by many around me who have supported and encouraged me every step of the way. It is paradoxical that I only found the voice to praise and confess Christ after I lost my normal speech. Through the process of writing simple children’s picture books, I have also been given a "voice" to share openly about my struggles and the faith that has carried me through. When I wrote and published my first book, Prince Bear & Pauper Bear, last year, I did not realise that it would come to illustrate my faith journey so vividly. In the story, my main character Pauper Bear was a poorly-stitched teddy bear without a mouth. Like me, he found his voice when he experienced love and restoration from someone who loved and delighted in him. My second book, The Tale of Rusty Horse, speaks of on old rocking horse that dwelled in his past and had trouble moving forward in life. Like me, he finally discovered that he had a purpose and place in life which brought him peace and joy.

I’ve come to believe that things happen for a reason and there is a purpose to all this. I have also finally started to live life and stopped feeling limited in what I can do. This breakthrough in my thinking came last year when I was impressed upon by what Jesus said in John 10:10 – "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." As I started claiming God’s promises over the past year, my voice has also improved considerably. It has since been almost two years since my last injection (on 27th October 2006) and my voice has become stronger with each day. I have hope and faith that I will fully recover one day in God’s timing and grace. And maybe I am meant to share my testimony with as many people as I can, so that when I eventually recover, many would have heard and come to see God’s grace in my life.

I believe God has carried me from my "mountain of fear and doubt" from over eight years back to His "mountain of promises" which I am to claim on as I enter a new chapter in life. In TLBC, I’ve been built up through the testimonies of my other 41 classmates who have journeyed to this same "mountain" for various reasons. Some seek a time of rest, some wish to be better equipped in His Word; others seek God for their destiny. From fresh graduates to retirees, professionals to business people, ministry staff to mission field workers, we have come from diverse backgrounds. Most significantly, my class comprises Christians from over 30 different churches throughout Singapore and the region - Myanmar, Vietnam, Indonesia, Thailand, South Korea and Nagaland. But one common thread runs through our makeup – we have all come to encounter Christ and seek His face.

In this diverse community of disciples, I have also experienced what it means to practise "one Lord, one faith and one baptism" (Eph 4:5). We have opened our minds to lecturers from different backgrounds; taken turns to share devotions and lead worship; performed simple acts of servanthood by serving and cleaning up after one another daily; fellowshipped over meals; prayed for each other within cell groups; exhorted one another through a buddy system; and most importantly, learnt to accept one another in love.

Just as the disciples saw Jesus in all His glory at the Mount of Transfiguration, I believe that each and every one of us has come with the heart to encounter Christ. So, as we draw near to Him at this "Eastern Mountain" and stand on His mountain of promises, I know that we too will walk away transformed in the glory of His presence.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

Emily Lim worships at Barker Road Methodist Church. She is the author of ‘Prince Bear & Pauper Bear’ and ‘The Tale of Rusty Horse’, two children’s illustrated books which are available in all major bookstores. Her books are inspired by her faith journey.